Critique / Red Pill Female Privilege List

Privilege — the concept that some people have unearned advantages over other people that they are generally not aware of, and that these unaddressed structural privileges underlie many of the injustices we see in society today. Only by being aware of and ‘checking’ your privilege can you be a true ally of social justice. (More)

I’ve been struggling emotionally with the concepts around privilege theory for a while now, which means we probably need to add “First World Problem Privilege” to the list. I went to the most popular privilege lists I could find on all sides and read them again. It didn’t really help. I want to see the legitimate issues on these lists, but my emotional reactions keep getting in the way. I just hate the way privilege theory is being applied.

So, rather than broadly looking for meaning, balance and some rational way out, I thought I’d just with a critique of the most popular “Female Privilege” list I could find. Female Privilege is the male (meninist) counter-point to feminist Male Privilege lists. As you can imagine, meninists and feminists don’t much like each other, so things can get a bit nasty on both sides.

What follows is a point-by-point review of “The Long List of Female Privileges” from the meninist Red Pill site. Every list item is shown in italics and is an exact quote without alteration. Comments follow in standard text after each item, along with somewhat sarcastic Privilege Points scoring. Disclaimers are provided following the list for brevity of introduction.

You should be aware that there is a tradition of writing privilege lists in the first person, as if the privileged party were writing their own confessional. When the author of this list says, for instance, “I can produce offspring…,” he is writing in the voice of the hypothetical woman admitting to her privilege. My comments are written in response to the actual man making the list, not this proxy woman. I’m sure she’s lovely.

Without further ado, how many Female Privilege Points did they author earn for men? Let’s take a look:

The Red Pill Female Privilege List

“In case anybody has forgotten, women have tons of privileges sure to make any hard line feminist’s hamster wheel spin at high velocities. Feminists outright deny that female privilege exists… Heres [sic] a list of 97 privileges females have…”

1. From an early age the opposite sex will be instructed never to hit me but I may not be given the same instructions. However, should I strike males I can expect not to be hit back and any social penalties that occur from my actions will actually fall on the male.

I really wish you’d started on an easier point. This is a doozy. There is probably no single point of clearly undeniable validity on Male Privilege lists than the simple fact that women experience far greater domestic and sexual violence than men. There are some nuances there, but overall, this is not an argument worth having. Women suffer the threat and fear of physical violence every day in ways that we as men do not. This one horrible fact makes much of the rest of both Male and Female Privilege lists largely moot.

However, and this is a very nervous however, your point remains valid. If you don’t regard men as generically violent wife-beaters and rapists, then it is clearly true that ethical boys and men face some very confusing and disturbing messaging about violence. It has never been clear to me my a large girl beating up a small boy is considered basically funny (What a wuss!), whereas the opposite is a war crime. I’ve also been disturbed by the trend in modern media to portray violence by women against men, even sexual violence, as not only okay but a sign of female empowerment.

That said, your somewhat valid point cannot be separated contextually from the fact that women face violence from men every day that is far more harmful than our annoyance at social hypocrisy.

• 0.2 Privilege Points (Including 0.3 demerit for lack of context)

As a side note, I’m working on a post related to Human Dignity as an alternative to privilege theory. I know, right? That’s just exciting as all get out. So I will at some points insert a comment related to this concept in a manner that is hopefully not too intrusive. The goal is simply to look at what should be in absolute terms rather than what is bad about the world in relative terms (which is really the root of privilege theory).

With regard to violence, the starting presumption of Human Dignity theory will be something like: No one should be emotionally or physically violent toward anyone else, or at the very least not toward anyone weaker than themselves. In this context, it may be that me should generally not hit women because they are smaller and weaker physically, but it should also be true that woman don’t abuse this social protection…but there’s obviously a lot to work through there.

Back to the list!

2. If I’m not smart, but pretty, I can marry and achieve the social and financial level of my husband without ever working.

There are so many issues nested in this one little sentence. Why does it matter how smart she is? Is the same true if she’s smart and pretty, or are you okay with smart ladies gettin’ the rich husbands? If so, good on ya. Or are you suggesting that you can’t be both smart and pretty? Sometimes less is more, my man.

Still, it is undeniable true that society places far greater pressure on men to work than women, and shows far greater disdain for men who are dependent on their female partners. So, point taken.

• 0.25 Privilege Points (Women do seem to benefit more than men in this way)

3. I can produce offspring. A status which grants me an “essential” status in our species that men can never have and which can never be taken away from me even in old age.

Okay, if you’re going to put something in quotes, it has to be an actual quote, refer to something specific in context, or be sarcastic. Are you saying both that women have this unfair privilege and also that it’s not really “essential” anyway? Sort of working against yourself there.

But this does bring up an odd, implicit thing about privilege lists; they tend not to address genetic advantage in a transparent manner. Men are physically stronger than women, on average, and women often treat muscular physical strength as a disease related to testosterone poisoning. Women, on the other hand, do get to create life, which men seem to find both enviable and annoying. Neither is really a social issue; our bodies are what our bodies are. Do we get privilege from these evolutionary outcomes? Sure. Men face less physical threat from women, and women get to, well, create life. Not sure that’s a fair trade.

The deeper point here is that we’re going to have to separate social advantages created by societal distortions from physiological advantages created by our biology. Having penis or baby-making envy may be legitimate concerns, but we can’t change these underlying facts until we get further down the road of genetic manipulation. Physiological privilege is a valid but entirely separate topic from social privilege, so I’m going to call foul. We should talk about this in some other venue.

• 0.0 (Social) Privilege Points

4. Regardless of my mate value society has organised fertility clinics and social welfare programs that will allow me to have children and provide for them should I choose to reproduce without a mate or marriage.

So, this is where your list gets challenging. First, you think punctuation is voluntary. What does “my mate value society has” even mean? There’s gotta be a comma in there, right? Second, you keep dumping three or four vaguely related things into the same sentence like you’re just shotgunning stuff onto the screen and expecting coherence to occur by man will or magic. You’re not Gandalf.

Here, for instance, you’re talking about /a/ fertility /b/ social services for parents with dependent children /c/ the choice of reproduction with and/or without a partner and /d/ somehow relating all of this to female privilege. I’m just going to fly over the fertility thing because I have no idea what the privilege is and don’t feel like guessing. So let’s focus one thing you’re clearly saying, which is that women receive more social services for raising children when they are single parents than men do. I think.

To understand if there is privilege here, I think you’d have to know how many single mothers vs. single fathers there are, their incomes, how many children each have on average, and what percent of social services are thereby allocated. I can’t really find information on that, and I doubt you have any idea, but let’s at least start with something we do know; that there are far more single mothers than fathers. Here is one chart from Single Mother Guide:

Clearly this is not an unbiased source, but just as clearly there are way more single mothers than fathers in the USA, and presumably in many countries. One would expect a more resources to go to these single mothers. My question is, why are so many dads not doing their damn job?

(Yeah, Dad, I’m talking to you.)

• 0.0 Privilege Points

5. I not only have the more valuable and sought after sexual identity, but I also have complete control over my reproductive choice and in many ways over the reproductive choice of the opposite sex.

There is some truth here, but you cover the same ground below in #6 as it relates to reproductive choice and abortion. With regard to the issue of the “more valuable and sought after sexual identity,” this just can’t be addressed without better definition. Do you mean valuable materially, or more metaphorically prized? Do you mean sought after as in, “I really wish I were a woman” or “I’d really like to stalk that woman” or “It would be great to have the sexual power of women and still be a dude?” I’m not a mind reader.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Partial Duplicate of #6)

6. At any time I can abandon my parental responsibilities with little or no social stigma and hand the child over to the state or abort the pregnancy. A male could never relieve himself of this burden unless I allow him to.

Holy Mundungus, this is a hairball big enough to choke a Dementor. So let’s break it down: First, if you think women don’t face social stigma for abortion, what country do you live in and are there any men there? This is absurd.

Second, if we’re meant to infer that it sucks for a man to have no say in whether a woman aborts his unborn child, then yeah, I get that. It does suck, but I have no idea what the legal alternative would be. Would you rather force her to bear your child so you can have it when she’s done? It’s just weird, dude. You have to have some respect for the fact that the baby is in her body. I can assure you that she’s not always 100% jazzed about that either.

Third, if we skip passed the thorny thicket of abortion, then we’re onto actual born children (metaphorically) and there I can see your point. I have known of women (and men) who abandon their families in order to go out and see the world, but I have no idea how common that is. Rather than debate the point, let’s just agree that abandoning your kids is a dick / pussy move and all sides genders should be judged equally for doing it.

(Hi again, Dad!)

• 0.0 Privilege Points

7. I am granted all the rights of a democracy without any of the burdens of military service.

Blaming women for not providing military service is like blaming them for not voting until they could do so without being arrested. You cannot simultaneously make it illegal for someone to do something and then blame them for not doing it.

• 0.1 Privilege Point (Because it would be nice if more women were joining up now that service is legal and encouraged, but that’s a whole ‘nother issue)

With regard to a Human Dignity approach: Men and women should have equal access to military service, equal responsibilities in providing that service, unless physiologically impractical. Where it goes from there, I’m not sure.

8. At age 18 I lose the protective status of the child but retain the protective status of the female. Boys at age 18 lose the protected status of the child and become targets if they fail to gain status after that point.

I think there might be an actual point here, I just don’t know what it is. If you mean that there is generally less pressure on women to succeed in business or financial terms, that’s true, but there are many countervailing factors (such as not earning as much) that makes this a bit dicey and, honestly, you could make this easier on me. Next time, when you wake up in the morning, take a shower, have some coffee and then edit your blog post so we know what you’re talking about. Man, I shouldn’t have to explain this.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

9. When I marry a man with status I can take his name and become whoever he has spent years becoming. I need not do anything special to be worthy of receiving the reputation he has built. However, if I wish to keep my own name I can do so. Should my husband feel the sting of this insult I can simply call him a sexist for it.

Dude! One topic at a time!

First: You’re saying women have privilege relative to men because they can (more easily) marry for status and money. Probably true. Point taken.

Second: Saying that women can accuse a man of sexism if he wants her to take his name is just petty. Why don’t you change your name? In what conceivable world is having to sacrifice your identity to someone else in order to avoid being treated like a pariah not the real problem?

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Marital point is duplicate)
• 0.0 Privilege Points (Name thing is just pathetic)

10. People will help me more when I’m in need and I will receive no social penalty or stigma for it.

I suspect this is largely true. Think of the last time you saw a hitch-hiker:

• Man = rapist / murderer / smelly hiker
• Women = Awww

It is kind of a drag to always be seen as a threat and unworthy of or un-needing of assistance. Claiming we’re manly and never need help doesn’t make the case any easier, of course. I’m just not sure what the net result is. Do women receive substantially more help in all or only some contexts, and why, and what is the impact of this? I couldn’t find any easily digestible stats online, so, I’ll just go with my gut.

• 0.25 Privilege Points (Now try accepting the help for a change)

11. When I’m on a date things will be paid for me.

This is true, at least the cultures that I’m aware of, and a never-ending point of frustration. I once had a woman tell me she really liked me but, “Attractive women don’t pay for things.” So, Dutch it was not. We are constantly told that it’s “Who we are inside” that matters but apparently this is because women think that’s where we keep the money. Kidding. Mostly.

What we should probably do here is agree that there are two legacies of the patriarchy that many women don’t mind holding onto: social and financial chivalry. Social chivalry comprises things like opening doors or throwing your body in front of the car / bear / bullet. Financial chivalry is basically paying for things that ought to be split evenly.

So, I’m going to grant you ALL points for both types of archaic chivalry here, and then reject anything similar as duplicate.

• 0.45 Social Chivalry Privilege Points (Including 0.05 demerit for missing commas. I realize the grammatical penalties are a bit random, but this isn’t English class.)
• 0.50 Financial Chivalry Privilege Points

12. When I search for employment I can choose jobs which I think are fulfilling without concern of whether they provide a “family” wage.

I think we need to talk about context. For most of America, male and female, work is how you eat. You get the job that pays the most to feed you. Single female parents are far more likely to live in poverty than single male parents. But if your point is that women who are fortunate enough to be in dual-income relationships have more flexibility in their work choices, this is true. It also means that you’re assuming the man in this hetero relationship is the primary bread winner, which has been historically true.

Unfortunately, you cannot separate this from the fact that women have been historically denied access to equal employment, wages, birth control, legal divorce and any number of other things that make the “freedom” of being able to work for less in some cases seem like pretty poor recompense.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (0.2 given in #2 for similar point)

13. I can discriminate against the opposite sex ruthlessly without social penalty

This is true of all non-default groups. Women, minorities and every other non-white-male group has free rein to say what they want about the default group. And if men whine about it? Well, that’s Male Fragility, a term nicely packaged to devalue any conceivable human reaction you might have to any type of criticism.

That said, I’m reminded strangely of a Nina Simone’s “Mississippi Goddam” [sic] where she sings:

 “Me and my people just about due
I’ve been there so I know
They keep on saying “Go slow!”

Which is a lovely way of saying that you can’t wait forever for change. Sometimes you have to push, hard, and sometime that makes the people you’re pushing feel uncomfortable. I don’t excuse the resulting violence or verbal abuse that can result when angry people take things too far, but expecting civility from people to whom little is shown is a bit self-serving.

I’ll grant the point, but only if you promise to answer a question honestly: When someone pushes you again and again until you’re standing at the edge of a cliff, do you really care if they fall down when you push back?

• 0.5 Privilege Points

14. If I marry and quit my job and enjoy a leisurely life with light housework and then later divorce I will be given half of the marital assets.

I’m not going to say I fully support no-fault divorce and presumptive 50% division of property and assets. There are probably some legitimate concerns there, and as women make more money and acquire greater assets of their own, we’ll probably hear similar concerns from that side of the field. There are also clearly cases where women (and probably fewer men) have married for money without any real intent of maintaining a marital relationship.

However, you have to remember that these laws exist because men used to divorce their wives and leave them with nothing but poverty and humiliation (those were the kids’ names). If you’d like more balance in the law, then seek it through legal channels. But don’t pretend that there is no historical context to current legal protections for divorcees.

• 0.1 Privilege Points (Including 0.1 demerit for whining)

15. If I commit a crime and am convicted I will get a sentencing “discount” because of my gender. If I am very pretty it will increase my discount.

This is conflating two types of privilege, female and attractiveness. The first point is valid and unfortunate. The second is valid, but equally true for men and women in all walks of life. Being hot is awesome. Or so I hear.

Let’s focus on the gender “discount,” where there is no shortage of statistical information to back up the claim of female privilege. Here is a quote from the Huffington Post in 2012 (just a random citation among many):

“A new study by Sonja Starr, an assistant law professor at the University of Michigan, found that men are given much higher sentences than women convicted of the same crimes in federal court.

The study found that men receive sentences that are 63 percent higher, on average, than their female counterparts.

Starr also found that females arrested for a crime are also significantly more likely to avoid charges and convictions entirely, and twice as likely to avoid incarceration if convicted.”

This is not just an advantage, it’s a staggering advantage. And given that it applies to basic freedom as a human being, it’s also an incredibly important advantage. Point made.

• 1.0 Privilege Point

16. If I am a partner in crime with a man I will likely be charged with lesser crimes even though I committed the same crimes even if I was the ringleader.

True, but this is just a special case of #15.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate)

17. I have the option to be outraged if my husband asks me if my behaviour is due to PMS and later on use PMS as a successful legal defence for murdering that same husband.

Oh, snap, you’ve touched the bloody third rail of gender discourse! Now you’re working with both balls. So, here is the genuinely frustrating thing about the ironically named menses: It’s like Fight Club, if fight club were a biological topic about which men are not allowed to have opinions but where women can have any opinion they want and often two or three at the same time. Don’t talk about Fight Club.

Male Privilege lists will include the negative aspects of work penalization for having periods, thereby acknowledging that periods can be disabling, while at the same time saying that periods don’t ever impact women in any way relating to job performance. Women seem as confused about how to treat this issue as men are. I’m avoiding the obvious next joke for equally obvious reasons.

So, to your point, is it technically accurate that PMS can be used as a defense? Yes. Here is the specific case I think you’re referencing (among others):

“In 1994, a jury in Liverpool, England found Jan Painter not guilty of the murder of her husband, whom she claimed she killed while in a rage from her PMS. PMS was also successfully used in the 1991 drunk driving trial of Dr. Geraldine Richter.”

So, you got your facts right. However, I was unable to find this used as a successful defense in any trial since (I didn’t look that hard), and yet I was easily able to find evidence of almost any ridiculous thing being used as a defense at least once–to the benefit of men and women. Lawyers are creative, the law is ambiguous and society is a rickety crate full of insecure squirrels with ADHD.

So the real question is, do inconsistencies in feminist and other PMS-related statements make it hard for men to figure out what the heck is going on? Yes. But to be a real privilege, you’d have to say there was no countervailing disadvantage and, honestly, I’d rather be confused about PMS than actually have it any day of the month. When’s the last time you had to run out of meeting because your pants were leaking? Never mind. Don’t answer that.

• 0.1 Privilege Points (Because, damn, it is confusing)

18. At age 18 I will not be forced to register for Selective Service and will not be penalised for failing to do so

Just, no. I agree with the underlying principle that men and women should both serve and both be required to serve if the draft exists. And the death or injury of women should be no more lamented than that of men. But we as men have made it illegal for women to serve and thus be drafted. What part of this don’t you understand? Didn’t you read my response to #7?

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate)

19. At a time of war I will never be drafted and ripped from my employment, home, and family and forced to become a military slave.

I’m trying, dude, really, but when you write a list that is meant to sound the clarion call of man pain and injustice, you should put more time into it than the last text message to your frat bro. You’ve already covered this above, twice, and for the same reasons it’s an invalid point. Also, if you think serving your country makes you a military slave, than you don’t know much about service or slavery.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate)

20. My feelings are more important than men’s lives. Every precaution will be made to protect me from harassment at work. However, males will make up nearly 100% of workplace fatalities.

Let’s just ignore the inflammatory and illogical first sentence. A point might well be made that the work that men do is on average more dangerous due to classic gender roles (e.g., coal mining vs. child care) even if we ignore the fact that women have long not been allowed to do the highly-paid man work, but that has nothing to with sexual harassment. Harassment and hiring discrimination are completely separate topics. So I’m just going to skip this one because it makes no fracking sense.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

21. My gender controls 80% of domestic spending. We get to spend our money if we have any and we get to spend men’s money.

Damn it. Look, women control most domestic spending because they do most of the shopping because you don’t want to, so if that’s your concern, get yo’self to the store and pick up some affordable edibles. If the other point your making is that women get to spend more of women’s money than vice versa, then okay, but aren’t they also shopping for you?

I really think there’s a point in here. I do. I think it has something to do with the weird concept that men have to work to have value but women don’t and that creates strange financial dynamics, but…yeah, I give up. Moving on.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Including 0.1 demerit for sounding petty)

22. The majority of luxury apparel is designed, marketed to, and consumed by women.

So what? Go out and buy more luxury apparel. It’s a free market. You can consume anything you want any time you want. There is no law that men and women have to buy the same stuff. I honestly don’t know what half the stuff in the women’s department is, let alone why I’d need it. But they do and that drives the economy quite nicely, so buy another riding lawnmower and putter on.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

23. Seven times as much jewellery will be purchased by or for me than by or for men.

I don’t know if this is quantitatively true (too lazy to Google), but I’ll give you that it’s true qualitatively. Unfortunately, it’s so weirdly specific that it’s hard to care. What percentage of ATVs or hunting rifles are purchased for men versus women? To matter, you’d have to add up all the mini discrepancies in gender-based purchasing and come up with some cool new equation to figure out who wins. You can’t even copy-edit your list, so I doubt you’ve done this. But give it a try; we’ll wait.

The only thing I would say about jewelry generally is that it’s a fake market dominated by unethical monopolies selling overvalued minerals to willfully blind people who don’t seem to care that people die in Africa (and elsewhere) pulling this crap out of the ground. It’s like a case study in materialistic narcissism. But it’s equal opportunity narcissism.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

24. I have a department of women’s health whereas men have no such department.

That’s because all the departments are historically men’s departments. I swear to god, it’s like you don’t get the difference between whining and legitimate argument. You realize, this is a hard argument to make, right? There are legitimate female privileges worthy of discussion, but it’s like you’ve just vomited random factoids onto the screen so you can get your beer buddies to slap you on the back.

• 0.1 Privilege Points (Including 0.1 Pity Points)

25. My gender enjoys more government spending on health than males do.

True. They also have to give birth to large, gooey human larvae by shooting them out of their much smaller lady parts. If you had to have a child tear up your urethra on the way out, you’d want more medical care too. I’m not saying it’s always fair, but you can’t glorify human differences and then not acknowledge differential burdens. Having said that, if there are genuine and illegitimate discrepancies, let’s address those as a team. Team humanity. Go team!

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Due to lack of specific evidence not based on physiology)

26. My gender consumes the lioness’ share of entitlement programs while men contribute the lion’s share of taxes.

This one threw me for a second. You do realize that by trying to be clever and re-gendering the lion in this metaphor, you render the metaphor meaningless, right? But whatever.

The problem with this point is that you’re blaming women for being poor while denying them the right to work, then complaining about the taxes you pay because you get to work. I’m all for a little self-serving rhetoric, but you can’t shit on someone and then blame them for smelling funny.

• -0.1 Privilege Points (For being an asshole)

27. If I rape or molest a child I can expect lighter treatment in court and afterwards receive less social stigma. What’s more, should I become pregnant, I can sue my victim for child support when he finally turns 18.

Any time you start a sentence with “If I rape…” you’re already on thin ice, but this is one of those rare times when you’re spot on and the ice will hold. The key point here is that adult men engaging in sexual activity with underage but nominally consenting girls is treated entirely differently from the same activity involving adult women and nominally consenting boys. The first is an egregious violation of an innocent victim, the second is kinda funny or, hell, high five that little dude!

Perhaps the strangest part of this dynamic is that, in order to allow this hypocrisy, feminists would have to believe that young girls are inherently weaker and less capable of granting consent than young boys, or simply not give a damn that their own male children are being molested. Either way, damn.

I’m not sure the point about suing for child support is that salient; you can sue for anything these days. But if it’s true that the same thing is not true in the opposite direction, then yes, this would also be a sign of privilege.

Note that this is not a duplicate of #15 because it’s an equivalent but not identical crime, and thus not quite the same topic.

• 1.1 Privilege Points (Because male children don’t deserve to be raped, right?)

28. When I divorce my husband I will be guaranteed custody of my children unless I am deemed to be unfit. Even if my husband is “Parent of the Year” 10 years running it is unlikely he will get custody over me even if I am a mediocre parent.

I don’t have any idea if this is true. Literally everything I know on this subject was learned from billboards on the drive to Vegas, police procedural dramas and one of my cousins’ bizarre marital meltdowns. I’ve heard that women win custody of the children far more often, but also that woman ask for custody far more often. On the other hand, feminists have no problem saying that men are to blame for women not asking for raises, so maybe women are to blame for men not asking for custody. Do you really want the kids? If so, you should have half a chance (exactly half a chance).

• 0.25 Privilege Points (Because kids are awesome and you should try to keep ’em)

29. When I divorce I can use false accusations of domestic violence, sexual molestation of the children or abuse of the children to gain advantage during court proceedings. If I am found out to be a liar I can expect to get away with it.

I was struggling with how to respond to this, and then realized I already had. This is almost the same as #40. No, I’m not responding in order. Get over it.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate)

30. If a man calls me a slut it will probably hurt his reputation more than it hurts mine, but at any rate the damage will be small and localised. However, if I call him a child molester or claim that he raped me I can destroy him completely and the damage may be nationwide.

This. Is. Ridiculous. There is nothing equivalent about the term “slut” and “rapist.” These are completely unrelated things. If the claim was that there is greater social stigma associated with being a “womanizer” than a “slut,” then at least you’d have a logical foundation for your argument. But all you’ve done is make it clear that you have no idea that rape and sex are two different things. Are you even a man? I swear it sounds like a woman wrote this so men would sound like dumb asses. We don’t need help in that department.

• -0.5 Privilege Points (Including 0.5 demerit for being a douche)

31. If I fail at my career I can blame the male dominated society.

I bet every woman’s goal in life is to fail so she can blame it on you. Fortunately, if you fail, you can blame Obama, affirmative action and uppity feminists. That’s fair and balanced enough for me.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

32. I may have the luxury of staying home and being a housewife but if my sister’s husband does the same thing I’m likely to call him a deadbeat loser and tell her to leave him.

A little shrew, but basically true. I was going to say “shrill” but it didn’t rhyme. Anyway, yeah, I’m going to have to give you a nod here. There is a double standard, and it’s a bummer.

• 0.2 Privilege Points (Because it’s a bit duplicative)

33. If I “choose” to join the military; the best military occupations providing the most lucrative civilian training will be reserved for me. I will be kept away from the fighting as much as possible to the point that I will be thirty times less likely to be killed in a war zone than my male counterparts. I will be given equal pay for less risk. I will never have to consider the fact that by joining the military and getting a plumb assignment I automatically forced a male out of that position and into a combat role that may cost him his life.

Good lord man, you’ve denied them access to the military for as long as there’s been a military. There is going to be a transition. Get over it. And while I’m on the topic, weren’t you on the military back on #7 and #19? Why can’t you put these things in logical groupings? It’s like polemical free association. Privilege theory is not wack-a-mole. Well, maybe it is. I do miss that game.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate)

34. If a male soldier injures himself before a deployment he can be arrested and court marshalled for it. If I deliberately get pregnant before a deployment or even during a deployment I will be reassigned and or taken out of a war zone and I will receive no penalty for it.

I’m genuinely not sure how to feel about this. Pregnancy is not a self-inflicted injury, but on the other hand, it is true that women have a free get-out-of-combat card that men don’t. I’m just not sure how to fix that imbalance. Forced abortions? Forced sterilizations? Pregnant women getting blown up in combat? At some point we’re all going to have to sit down like adults and talk these things through. So, half a point?

• 0.4 Privilege Points (With a 0.1 demerit for implying female soldier are hos)

35. My gender watches more television in every hour of every day than any other group. This along with the fact that women control 80% of domestic spending means that most television shows and advertisement are designed to appeal to me.

I suspect this is true. I’m not sure it represents a privilege as such–Would more man ads make you happy?–but it’s definitely a bias. On the other hand, the vast majority of people making these ads are men, and most of the content reflects a phallocentric bias (I’ve always wanted to use that in a sentence) so it seems like a wash.

• 0.01 Privilege Points

36. I can wear masculine clothing if it pleases me however men cannot wear feminine clothing without social penalty.

True, but isn’t this just pointing out that male-dominated society is a wee bit homophobic and thus admitting that you have hetero (cis?) privilege? There is a larger point that women have far greater freedom in all forms of physical and emotional expression, and that gets a bit tiring, but on the other hand I can wear the same pants to work every day of the week and no one cares. Every damn day. I’ll take that over the right to wear little black dress to the bar without someone asking me why I don’t shave my legs every day of the week.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

37. Not only is there a wealth of clothing choices designed for me but it is likely that I will be able to afford or have them provided for me.

Uh, wow. Okay, so, point one, I guess, is that women have more choice in clothing. That’s true, and ignoring the fact that they’re held to a higher standard of dress and variation in dress, there’s a still a free market out there. If you want blousy shorts without pockets, demand them. The market will respond, and you’ll look adorable.

As for your “afford or have them provided for me” point, what? No, wait a minute. I’m going to just say this is a duplicate of some other point and move on.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

38. I can claim that a wage gap exists and that it is the fault of sexism while simultaneously seeking employment without considering income as a priority. I will probably choose my job based on satisfaction, flexibility of hours, and working conditions and then expect to make as much as the males working nights, out in the rain and cold or working overtime.

So many words. Actually, too many words. This is mostly a duplicate of #67 and all that’s left is a question about why you’re obsessed with mailmen.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

39. I can be bigoted or sexist against males without social penalty.

I’m not sure where you learned to make lists, but it’s way easier if you actually just say each thing one time. This is a duplicate of #13.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

40. If I make a false claim of rape against a male in an act of revenge or in order to cover up my own scandalous behavior I may well succeed at both and he may spend years in prison. If I am found out it is unlikely I will be charged, convicted, or serve any time at all.

I’m not saying this never happens. It clearly does. But how can this possibly balance against the number of men who rape women and get away with it? On issues of sexual violence, yeah, it sucks to be on the losing end of crazy, but it sucks way worse to be fucking raped.

• 0.1 Privilege Points

41. If I abuse my husband and physically assault him and the police arrive it is almost guaranteed he will go to jail.

I have literally no idea. I’ve learned a few things while writing this list. First, you’re list disadvantaged. Second, it appears that almost all research on domestic violence is focused on domestic violence against women. There is some online information about violence against men, but as it’s mostly published by meninists, it’s bit suspect. So I’m left with biased data on both sides. My guess, there’s some truth to this. But I’m pretty sure I couldn’t prove it in court.

• 0.2 Privilege Points (Because no victim should be afraid to report a crime)

42. If I am in an abusive relationship there are a multitude of social organisations to help me get away from him. There are few for men in the same position even though women initiate the majority of DV and even though men are hospitalized 30% of the time.

Absolutely true, at least qualitatively. The numbers vary, but country-by-country, male domestic violence victims are treated like young male rape victims (of women). Maybe they dressed provocatively. It doesn’t balance against the fact that most seriously injured victims of domestic violence are women, but the point remains.

• 0.75 Privilege Points

43. In the event of a natural disaster or other emergency that requires evacuation I can expect to be evacuated before males. This includes male doctors, humanitarians, politicians, captains of industry, billionaires, and religious leaders. I will receive no social penalty if all of those people died because I was evacuated first. However, should they manage to get evacuated before women and those women died they will all suffer a social penalty.

All right, I’m going to do you a solid here. No one gets off the boat before the Pope or billionaires. Didn’t you watch Titanic? First class rules, steerage drools. So we’ll just pretend you didn’t get all excited and focus on the fact that “Women and Children” first is a pretty sexist concept and has to go. Children first, maybe with their parents, but other than that dying should be an equal opportunity marketplace. Agreed on all the points you almost made.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate social chivalry in #11, but dying does suck)

44. If someone is attacking a person on the street I have no obligation to assist them and I will receive no social penalty if I do nothing.

I doubt this is true in absolute terms, but in relative ones, sure — men are more likely to be expected to assist, especially if the victim is a woman, and woman are less likely to be chastised for failing to do so. I’ve always wondered about the feeling men have to throw themselves into such situations and the freedom of women to run away. I suspect a lot of it has to do with the high probability that the attacker is a man and the woman involved is likely to be physically smaller and weaker, but speculation is pointless without facts. There are fortunately studies online demonstrating this argument in various ways, so point taken.

• 0.25 Privilege Points

45. If someone is harming my children and I run away and ask someone else to help I will receive no social penalty for my cowardice.

Okay, so, “cowardice” is a pretty heavy word. People can be afraid and unsure what to do without being cowards. Most parents don’t go to “How to fight off my child’s assailant” boot camp. But isn’t this just a specific case of #44? If so, same point. Also, I’ve never seen a woman run away from someone attacking her children. Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone attack children at all. Hmm. Some of my privilege there? Perhaps.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate)

46. I’m immune to cognitive dissonance.

Woah, that’s a random one, but variety is the spice of lists! A definition may help people how have actual social lives:

“Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort (psychological stress) experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values.” – Wikipedia

All special interest groups and their more enthusiastic members are immune to cognitive dissonance. This includes feminists, meninists and ists of all stripes. Even stripists. But I do like the phrase, “Immune to Cognitive Dissonance (ICD).” It’d be a good t-shirt.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

47. I may denounce the concept of a dowry, however, I still expect a man to give me an engagement ring when he asks me to marry him.

Totally true, but a duplicate of the financial chivalry point in #11.

(On a funny note, I tried to make this point once when talking to a girl about engagement a long time ago. She threw a phone at me. Wasn’t even her phone.)

• 0.1 Privilege Points (Duplicate, but engagement rings are ridiculously expensive)

48. I expect a man to ask me to marry me and suffer the potential risk of rejection.

This is true. On the other hand, waiting for a man to ask has got to be a drag. What if we all just accepted equal responsibility for the ask, no one ever has to kneel in front of anyone ever again? It’s hard on the knees.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

49. If I lie, it’s because I’m a victim of a male dominated society forced into difficult circumstances and not because I’m a bad person

Dude, a little context would help. What does this even mean? I’m not saying you don’t have a point, but it’s so broad and undefined that you could be right or wrong and no one would know.

(You may have noticed that I used the word “broad” in an appropriate and non-misogynistic manner. You may bookmark this for later reference.) 

• 0.0 Privilege Points

50. If my boyfriend sabotages a condom he can pay me child support for the next 20 years. If I secretly don’t take my birth control my boyfriend can pay me child support for the next 20 years.

Yep. There are many issues here. Many. But honestly, why are you sabotaging your own condom if you don’t want to take care of the kid? If the point is that men can be forced to pay child support for a pregnancy they didn’t want and tried to prevent and which the woman sabotaged, there may be an argument here; it’s just nearly impossible to prove.

• 0.01 Privilege Points

51. If I’m uncomfortable exercising around men I can demand a female only gym be made for women. If any male only gyms exist I can demand membership under threat of lawsuit.

Without any evidence of any kind, it feels like this might be true. I might have made a more general point about men- versus women-only institutions (e.g., gyms, golf clubs, cigar bars, etc.), but it’s a valid argument. Sometimes it does seem like gender politics is stuck on the “snips and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails” are what boys are made of stage of human development. Or maybe women are tired of being leered at.

Wait, now that I re-read this, I don’t get it. You can’t just go around demanding gyms. Was this based on some government case study or something? You’re hiding the details. I’m suspicious. Points deducted.

• 0.1 Privilege Points

52. If my female only gym at the university decides to close early for safety reasons I can scream sexism and force them to keep it open as long as the main gym.

Wow, this is pretty specific, but at least I get $#51 now. Is this like one case that happened at your alma mater? Was it your ex girlfriend? Kidding. But was it?

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate)

53. If I succeed at keeping the female gym open and I leave late at night and I don’t feel safe I can demand that the university spend hundreds of thousands of dollars for more lighting and police presence.

The simple fact of the matter is that women face a vastly disproportionate risk of violence, and thus it seems pretty reasonable they would have vastly disproportionate demands for protection. To be an example of privilege, it has to benefit women in disproportionate ways. This doesn’t make the cut. Plus, why the gym thing again? What’s going on here?

• 0.0 Privilege Points

54. If after getting new lighting and police protection I decide I don’t want to go to the gym anymore well that’s just my prerogative.

What the hell is it with you and this gym? Are you saying that women should be forced to workout even if they don’t want to? What happened at your college? Do you even go to the gym?

• 0.0 Privilege Points

55. I’m likely to believe that if a woman is intoxicated she is not capable of giving consent and if sex occurs it is rape. However, if her male partner is also intoxicated he is capable of consenting.

Eesh. I really don’t want to touch this one. The only thing I will say, accepting fully that women suffer far more than men from sexual violence (of course), is that this double standard does suck, does cause real social problems, and will result is some really great lawsuits as the “Yes means Yes” consent protocol is deployed across college campuses. Other than that, I’m running away. There’s just too much to cover here given the scope of this critique.

• 0.5 Privilege Points (Because being a decent dude these days is scary)

56. If a man is promoted over me at work I have a right to suspect sexism even though I also believe that under adverse circumstances men are more capable than women of making good decisions. (see #55)

Great googly moogly, what? Why in the world would you try to combine the topics of workplace discrimination and date rape? If you’d just stuck with sexism at work, this would be 0-score duplicate response and we could move on, but now, damn.

• -0.1 Privilege Points (For failing logic and common sense. Maybe these were courses at the college you couldn’t get into because of affirmative action?)

57. I can cry and get my husband to do something for me that he might not have done otherwise.

I wish you would phrase this list in a way that is easier to defend and which sounds less petty and ridiculous. Let’s try this again as, perhaps, “I can be emotionally manipulative without social penalty.” Yeah, there’s some truth to that.

I’ve had a few women cry in my office at work (no, it wasn’t my fault), and zero men, but on the other hand those women were then castigated by other women for being ridiculous. The dynamic here is insidious and atavistic; men are born sympathetic to visible signs of pain from women. It makes us easier to manipulate, but it also makes us more compassionate than we might otherwise be. I think that’s the point.

So, is there biological privilege at work here? Undoubtedly? I suspect there is also redundancy in these arguments related to sympathy and fair treatment, but what the heck.

• 0.1 Privilege Points

58. I expect people (especially men) to be sensitive to my feelings

Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all at least a little sensitive to the feelings of others? Duplicate of several other items.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

59. I can deny a man’s feelings or disregard them or ridicule him for having them without social penalty.

Probably true.

• 0.2 Privilege Points

60. If I lose my job it’s because of sexism or the economy. If a man loses his job it’s because he’s a loser.

This is a duplicate of other job points, except for the loser part. I think we need a single general point here that women are far better at and rewarded for social emasculation of men than the alternative. I’m not even sure what the equivalent word is for women. Huh.

• 0.2 Privilege Points (Because even losers have feelings)

61. If I go to a club or bar with my girlfriends and I look my sexy best I have a right to be perturbed when men approach me and hit on me in this public place.

Oh, man. There might have been a point here, but “my sexy best?” It’s like you didn’t read the manual. Get it? Manual.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

62. Even though men die more from prostate cancer than women die from breast cancer I can expect that twice as much funding is given for breast cancer. The same will apply to any female specific disease or malady.

Learn to use a hyphen. Female-specific. The disease is not female. Unless that’s what you meant, in which case, damn. More seriously, I’m inclined to go with you on this one. Here is one little site called the American Cancer Society showing that funding for breast cancer and ovarian cancer is far greater than for prostate cancer. At some point I’ll look for stats on relative mortality rates, but I suspect when I do funding will remain heavily in favor of women.

Interestingly, I think you’ve missed the mark on what the privilege is. This is a case of /a/ men and women caring more about the lives of women and /b/ the social advantage that woman have by being (allowed to be) more collaborative. Either way, point made.

• 0.5 Privilege Points (Cancer bad)

63. If for some reason I do not get custody of my children I will be expected to pay less child support than another man in my exact same position.

No idea. Information online is hard to parse.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (But open to proof that I’m wrong)

64. If I kidnap my children and I am eventually caught I can successfully defend myself by claiming I was protecting them from my husband–even if my children were given to him to protect them from me.

If you’re going to state something this specific, then why not cite the case? Happy to look at the specific example.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Google hard, fingers tired)

65. My gender makes up 53% of the voting population yet when I see more men in political office I will call that sexism.

This is like blaming me for watching reruns when there’s nothing else in the theaters. Did I want to watch Pirates of the Caribbean 5? No. Did I? Yes. It was on nine screens and the only alternative was a British documentary on dysentery. This is not a choice.

There are two sides to any transaction, supply and demand. Saying that women vote for men when there are only men to vote for is a bit asinine. The question is why more women don’t run, and why they aren’t supported when they do. If that playing field was level then this might make sense, but as it is, whatever.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

66. If I am married with children and I want to stay home with the kids I’m likely to blame my husband for not making enough to allow me to do that.

Likely is probably an exaggeration, but women can be pretty harsh when it comes to issues of male income. Not sure why. I do have a friend who was divorced by his high-income wife because he didn’t make enough in his six-figure job, but maybe he was also terrible in bed. It’s a mess.

• 0.1 Privilege Points

67. I think it is my right to work and I am unconcerned if the influx of women into the workforce has reduced overall wages to the point that it’s hard to support a family on just one income, or affirmative action has kept men from being promoted even though they deserved it.

Apparently, incomprehensible whining is a male privilege. Do us a favor; if you’re going to represent the gender, learn to use the goddamn language. There are at least two different points here. Did you run out of numbers?

Point one: Women are unconcerned that their entrance into the workforce has reduced overall wages. Are you freaking kidding? You want to deny them the right to work, then blame them for not paying their fair share for shit, then get mad when they finally get a a chance to work and the resulting increase in labor supply decreases wages? Why do you hate your mother? I can’t even figure out how to respond to this. It’s embarrassing.

On the other point, that affirmative action has negatively impacted some men, there may be some truth to that. I’ve experienced the odd unintended consequences of affirmative action, but on the other hand, the whole point of affirmative action is correct historical imbalances. It’s not going to be fun for everyone. I’m not saying it’s a good thing, but waiting for the market to adjust has not exactly worked either. What’s your solution?

• 0.1 Privilege Points (Affirmative action can negatively affect some people)

68. I can get student financial aid without signing up for Selective Service (the Draft).

Dude, not the military thing again. You’re milking a dead cow.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

69. I can get employment with a federal agency without signing up for Selective Service.

Get off the dead cow, you freak!

• 0.0 Privilege Points

70. Restrooms for my gender will be cleaner and are more likely to have flowers or other decorations.

Do you want flowers in your bathroom? Wait, I take back that sarcasm. I would like flowers in my bathroom. On the other hand, if we had them, some jackass would make a wreathe out of the urinal, pee on it and flood the bathroom. This is not an area where we stand proud (no pun intended). Bathroom politics are messy. God, this stuff just rights itself.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Including demerit due to lack of adequate women’s facilities)

71. If I’m caring for a child restrooms for my gender will more likely have a changing table for my convenience.

This is totally true, and totally being addressed. On a side note, I have never seen one of them used in the men’s room except for sex. On a second side note, changing stations are not made to hold the weight of an adult woman. On a third side note, gross.

• 0.05 Privilege Points

72. People I’ve never met before are more likely to open doors for me.

This is probably true. The funny thing about this is when you open the door for a woman and she totally gives you the, “I can open my own goddamn door you patriarchal man fuck,” stink-eye, and you want to shut the door in her face but that would just play into her hands. So, you back away and say, “Prove it.” She then has to walk back to the door she already passed through and prove she can open it while you stealthily hold it shut and mock her useless little T-Rex arms. I’ve never done that, of course, but it seems like the kind of thing you might do. Film it. What could go wrong?

What you have touched on here is the general concept of chivalry. In fact, if I may, next time you make a list can you kindly consolidate it into major topical points and sub-points. It will make the critique far more orderly. But back to chivalry. I’m sorry, but it must die. Just as much as I was raised to open doors, pull out chairs, open car doors, offer you the umbrella when it rains, pay for dinner, buy you drinks, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, pay for the wedding ring, ask you out, etc., etc., it all has to die.  All of it. Sorry, but equality is more important than petty niceties that preserve the sticky sweet parts of patriarchy for your personal convenience, and it just gets in the way.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate with #11)

73. People I’ve never met before are more likely to talk to me in public.

And this is what you want? The one male privilege I desperately want is to be left alone in my quiet little man brain. If more people talk to me because of this article, I’m sending a rabid honey badger after you.

• 0.25 Privilege Points (Because he accidentally touched on the topic of male social isolation, which is a serious topic and worthy of concern)

74. If I go to a bar I can expect that members of the opposite sex will purchase drinks for me.

Con·sol·i·da·tion (kənˌsäləˈdāSH(ə)n) is a noun that, among other things, means “the action or process of combining a number of things into a single more effective or coherent whole.” When you make your next list, you need to grok the crap out of consolidation as both concept and commitment. This is a duplicate of other social chivalry points, and thus duplicative.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

75. Anytime I find an organisation just for men I can denounce it as sexism.

Subvert the dominant paradigm! Duplicate of #39.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

76. I believe that women should have organisations just for women.

If men didn’t believe the same thing, #75 wouldn’t make any sense. It’s not a privilege if both sides are equally bigoted.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

77. If I meet a man that I like and I give him my phone number and he doesn’t call I have a right to think of him as an asshole.

It’s getting late and this is basically just another way of whining about the same thing in #78, below. BTW, if you give her your number and she doesn’t call you, you can think the same thing. What happens in brain club stays in brain club.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate or whatever)

78. If I meet a man that I like and I give him my phone number and he calls me I have a right to blow him off or act like I don’t know him.

Now you sound a bit date-rapey. Yeah, anyone called by anyone for any reason has those rights. That’s what makes them rights. Sure, it would be nice if there were fewer hitches in the dating game. On the flip side, if you ask a girl for her number and she says no and you’re all up in her face about it, maybe she just realized it would be safer to give you the number than stand her ground?

If it helps, this has happened to me and it’s a bummer. You think you click with someone and they can’t even text to say, “Sorry, I was drunk and I thought you were better looking.” But people are not perfect. I don’t think we want to live in a society where every tiny interaction is regulated for fairness. Get over it.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

79. I believe I have a right to live in an orderly and safe society but I feel no obligation to risk my safety to secure or maintain that society.

Oh my god, dude, get off the military thing. You’re like a record with one groove and no boogie. The cow is dead. The milk is sour. Salt the earth, burn the farm and move on.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Duplicate!!!)

80. I like it when bars and clubs have drinks specials just for women.

Who doesn’t like it when places have stuff just for them? I like man drinks. I don’t even know what man drinks are, but I’d like one. Right. Now.

(Okay, I’m lying. All my favorite drinks are girly boat drinks with blended melon or some shit like that. They’re delicious. Scotch burns.)

• 0.0 Privilege Points

81. I think that organisations that offer any discounts or privileges just for men is a clear sign of sexism.

Yeah, there is some truth here. On dating sites, not only to men have to pay more and more often, but often the women are just bots meant to make men think someone gives a damn if they live or die. It sucks. If sites did that to women, they’d riot (you know, peacefully). And why is there a ladies’ night everywhere? So, why not.

• 0.1 Privilege Points

82. If I’m white I will live 6 years longer than white males and 14 years longer than black males.

This is absolutely true. Not only that, but women will claim you deserve to die younger because you’re genetically inferior and testosterone poisoning is what you get for having a penis so die, man, die! I’m sorta kidding, but it does get a bit old to have everyone tell you that the hormone that defines your body is intrinsically toxic. Long story.

In any case, I would dismiss this as valid but unfortunately focused on physiological rather than social privilege, but I don’t believe that’s the case. From what I’ve read online, no one knows exactly why men die sooner. They make lists of possible contributors that include both physiological and social factors, and then opine on which ones they think are most important. Some feminists suddenly embrace eugenics and blame testosterone by saying that’s just what we get for being male. Others blame something else. My guess, and it’s only a guess, is that it will turn out to be 99% social and once we correct for work stress, accessing health care in a timely manner, etc., then women will start dying younger and men older and it will all balance out. Wonderful.

• 1.1 Privilege Points (Because death sucks and eugenics is mean)

83. If I’m encouraged to get medical care it’s because I owe it to myself.

I suspect this is true, but so what? The entire modern medical marketing message is about what you allegedly deserve. In fact, that’s all marketing to everyone for everything. That’s not a privilege, that’s a collective curse. You deserve a break today. You deserve the very best. You deserve massive debt to fund your insatiable appetite for materialistic nonsense and social status. Capitalism is whack.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Largely because this contradicts #84. You can’t have your early death and eat it to.)

84. When my husband is encouraged to get medical help it’s because he owes to to me and the kids.

What’s wrong with you? All parents should take care of themselves for their kids, and all spouses should take care of themselves for their partners. Why the bejesus are you even married or reproducing if you don’t understand this? Yeah, I get that men are less likely to seek care than women and it sucks to be manipulated into doing something, even if it’s good for you, but in this case the worst thing that happens is that doctor gets another copay and you don’t orphan your children. Not exactly a tragedy.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Including 0.1 demerit for dying on your kids)

85. If something bad happens to me or just one woman I believe it is an offence against all women.

Totally true, but this is the behavior of all non-default groups. If you want this to go away, support gender equality. And, honestly, when have you not seen an Asian driving badly and gone, “See, I told ya!” Confirmation bias is a (gender neutral) bitch.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

86. I believe that if something bad happens to a man it’s because he’s a loser.

Don’t we all believe that? This is America. Looking down on failure is practically a national pastime. But then again you’re English or something, so maybe this a new territory for you. There may be a legitimate question here: Does failure of any kind lay heavier on a man then women in social terms? Maybe, I mean, emasculation is fun. The problem is, I have no idea. If there are statistics here to back up the assertion, I’d love to see them.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

87. I think that alimony is fair when paid to a woman but not fair when paid by a woman.

This is true both ways. To be privilege, it has to be more true in one direction than the other. I don’t think this is.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

88. I’m more likely to believe that women who commit crimes are sick and need treatment or understanding whereas men who commit crimes are evil and should be locked up forever.

Totally true. Unfortunately, also believed by men. More unfortunately, this is for all practical purposes a duplicate of #15

• 0.0 Privilege Points

89. I can criticise the opposite sex without social penalty, but woe be to the man who attempts to criticise me or other women.

Beware the march of ides, which is to say, this is another duplicate of #15.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

90. I can throw a fit and act like a two year old to get what I want without damaging my mate value.

I don’t know who you’re dating, but if your dates include throwing fits and acting like two-year-olds, and you still date them, the problem is yours. Back away from the crazy. If your point is that women are more emotional than men and this makes them more expressive in ways you’re uncomfortable with then, hey, it’s a package deal. We’re not all the same. They would probably counter with, “I [the man] can be in a relationship without ever once having an actual emotional response to anything.” In which case I say, back away from the cyborg. It’s a tie, so there is no privilege.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

91. I have the luxury of not being the filter for natural selection.

I just stopped laughing. What? No, seriously, what? You do realize that half the baby comes from the woman, right? Or do you mean, women just take whatever sperm flies though the air and uses it to pump out babies without ever caring who the man is? I’m just going to assume that by this time in the evening, you’d done too many shots and your dorm mates were shouting random crap while watching the Discovery channel.

(Did you know that female sharks can carry a male shark’s sperm around without getting pregnant and then dump it if a better male comes along? Now that’s being the filter for natural selection.)

• 0.0 Privilege Points (Nearly included 0.1 Funny Points)

92. I can sleep with my boss if I want and afterwards I can sue him for sexual harassment

True. Don’t sleep with your boss, or your employees. Barring that, there’s probably a point here. On the other hand, maybe you need the job and it was clear you’d lose it if you didn’t sleep with your boss.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

93. I can wear seductive clothing and perfume to attract a man at work but no one will accuse me of sexual harassment.

I think there’s an element of legitimate critique here, but on the other hand, do you want to wear perfume and seductive clothing? If so, I’m all for it. I think gender confusion in the workplace is the ovaries. Bring it.

• 0.2 Privilege Points

94. If I hear a story about Darfur and how men who leave the refugee camps to gather wood are hacked to death to prevent their wives from being raped I am likely to think that is proper but not likely to send money.

Commas. Commas are helpful. That said, I think there may be some truth in here and #95, perhaps when viewed together under the first new moon of autumn, but you’re making this too hard. What’s the privilege? That people regard the lives of men less than women, that men are regarded as protectors even while being mocked for the same tendency, or…what? This is not a practice in poetic abstraction.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

95. If I hear a story about Darfur and how women are leaving the refugee camps to gather wood are being raped I’m likely to be outraged. I’m also likely to wonder why these women’s husbands aren’t protecting them.

Or gathering the wood. See #94.

• 0.0 Privilege Points

96. If I ever heard these stories about Darfur it is my privilege not to care or even consider that the reason the second story exists is because all the men in the first have already been killed.

You’ve gone full Inception and are now complaining at the third level of your Darfurian metaphor where time passes 8,000 times faster than the real world. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but this is pretty specific. If the issue that…nope…I don’t get it. Reacting inappropriately to inadequate information is just one of the things that makes humanity so special. There is nothing gender specific about this. We’re idiots.

• 0.0 Privilege Points (With 1.0 non-transferable Inception Point)

97. It is my right to maintain the belief that men oppress women despite all of the evidence to the contrary.

Yeah, see, here’s the thing. Privilege as a concept has a specific meaning; that one group has an unearned advantage over another (that is not, presumably, balanced by reasonably equivalent disadvantage). This point would make sense if you didn’t believe the exact same thing. Two groups believing the same wrong thing does not make one privileged. It just means ya’ll don’t like each other. So, let’s say that you phrased this in a more privilegey manner as:

“I am more likely to believe that I am being oppressed and receive the consequent benefits of social compassion when, in fact, there is little evidence that this oppression exists.” Or something like that.

When phrased this way, do you have a point? To answer this, we’d have to know what percentage of male versus female beliefs are irrational. We don’t. I suspect both sides think the other is bat shit crazy. This just makes us jerks, not privileged.

All of which is to say, your list sucks. You’re the reason women are winning.

(Ha ha, I’m kidding, don’t kill me.)

• 0.1 Privilege Points (Largely to avoid violence)

Here Endeth the Female Privilege List

No, wait. The author then finishes his list with, “And there you have it. Exhaustive, but interesting nonetheless. Check your privilege, feminist shitlords!” Sometimes I think I’m on the wrong team. Wait, I don’t believe in teams.

What’s the final tally? Who cares? This list sucks. Men/0, Women/1, Hope for Society/-5.

If this critique has taught me anything, it is that men and women are both right. There is privilege on both sides, though it remains (in my opinion) highly in favor of women for the sole case of sexual violence. Our great feminist philosopher Gwen Stefani said it best:

“The moment that I step outside
So many reasons for me to run and hide
I can’t do the little things I hold so dear
‘Cause it’s all those little things that I fear”

Great lyrics. Terrible way to live your life.

Disclaimers

There is nothing scientific about privilege lists. People yell out stuff they hate and someone writes it down. Sometimes they order pizza. It doesn’t mean they’re not serious things, it means they’re not subject to entirely rational analysis. Which is unfortunate for something being advocated as the foundation for social policy. This is not so much a disclaimer as on observation.

An actual disclaimer? I hate privilege lists. They’re just hate packaged for palatable consumption. They may make many wonderful points, but the net result is just more division and bigotry. Hence, much of the snark. At least, 84% of it.

The real disclaimer? I’m a white male, so, it may not matter what I think.

Wow, I can’t believe you read this far.

Peace.